“THIS IS IT, LAST EPISODE. SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND THANKYOU FOR LISTENING”

Dave is not here. Is tranny a derogatory word? Dave (who is fat) has been temporarily banned from the podcast room because of his tendencies to have soliloquies and monologues and screaming over other people with his (fat) deep voice. The folds of Dave’s face fat has a face and looks like a snowman.

Dave wonders why he’s kicked off his show. He calls it ‘my show.’ Sasha Grey would make a great Dave on camera. Only a female can portray Dave. Harry and Dave were alone in Bali for over a month. Dave and Harry fought over a secret.

Vania has just joined the podcast. She says everyone is cool and James is alright. Once again, it’s our last show. Yoshi is not here because he is doing comedy at a Hollywood youth hostel. Yoshi got fired from his job. He’s never been fired. Now he’s moving to New York. Major disasters in Yoshi’s life has prevented him from moving or traveling.

Joey is leaving Los Angeles. Dave’s friend just has a positive outlook in life with a new girlfriend. We have another friend who just got engaged with the biggest rock. Dave thought it was nice there was an engagement in the midst of his bitter single friends. Saelee has no wedding fantasies. James had a high maintenance wedding. He just received a long text from his ex-wife. He’s still in a middle of a divorce.

Yoshi burns DVDs and gives it out to people he likes. Dave reads Yoshi’s resignation letter. Sasha will not continue in porn. His supervisor’s daughter watched him chapter porn. The children have also caught him with a hard on while editing porn. Yoshi enters with his friend Taina. Taina got Yoshi his start in the porn industry. Yoshi got beat up defending his porn shop. Back in the day, porn was a hot street commodity back in the day and people tried to shoplift a lot.

Samoans is very accepting of gay people. Taina is the opposite of a cockblocker, he likes helping his bros get laid. Taina records his sexual experiences and lets his friends borrow his tapes. Taina walks his friends through the porn viewings. Taina was in a circle of other guys who would share their tapes. Women are not interested in seeing their friends’ sex tapes. Vania thinks that Blue Valentine is a Ryan Gosling sex tape.

Joey was very disturbed when Harry was peeking through the window when he was about to jerk off. Saelee thinks Taina wants to show his cock off to his friends. Taina swears that it is only about showing the girls. Joey enters. Joey used to masturbate old country style and started at nine years old. Dave learned the tantric method in prison. Dave talked Harry through it when he was drunk.

Yoshi got into porn to make money to help his family out. Comics are miserable people. Polynesians are funny and goofy with sex. As far as trannies go, Can a man be so beautiful and so much of a woman that you can accept the dick? Some trannies don’t get off with their dicks. A tranny will show you that a woman is hard with an erect penis. Otherwise, you never truly know with a woman. An erect penis on a transexual is a wagging tail on a dog. Some of the appeal of a she-male is that it’s an understanding of a man’s needs. Transexuals take the best traits of the women without the bitchiness.

With the ubiquity of porn, the pussy does not have the power it used to have. It’s time for men to have good fake pussies. Female to male transexuals have gnarly dicks. Dave bought a computerized pussy. If Dave ever used it, he would never leave the house. Men jerk off so much these days that they have become desensitized when they are with women. Men have cycles too. Men are sometimes really horny but also sometimes totally cold.

Taina won’t reveal his porn name. Some porn stars are racist but its porn. Before pills, Taina had to use his mental abilities to get hard. He would think of all the men getting off. The porn industry are pretty clean. Taina fucked a deaf girl. Her sounds were God’s sounds, the purest expression. Is it gay for men to praise other men in porn?

Sasha always felt like a porn outsider and cried when she got her award. Porn is real work. Sasha never had to fuck anyone to move to the top. Taina is drawn to porn because of its rebelliousness and courageousness. Porn affects Taina’s relationships with women. It weeds out the bad ones. Taina was not a pussy when it came to porn. He gets dirty.

Die Antwoord wanted Dave to play drums with them on David Letterman but Dave couldn’t so that he could go on Howard Stern. Dave was sick from anticipation when getting on Letterman, who he’s listened to for countless hours. Dave talked about Yoshi handing out burned porn DVDs which affected Yoshi getting fired. Yoshi was accused of using porn contact lists for dates.

This podcast was training for Dave to be on Howard Stern. Barbara Walters gave Dave an interview where she tried to take full control. Sasha says you have to take control of the press in this situation. They offered Yoshi his job back but he wrote his letter to clear the air, not for his job. He declined. He fights at work for work ethic and honor. Yoshi keeps tabs on who to hate. Yoshi would have gone back to work if they made changes with the children policy. Yoshi tried to hug Harry and Harry missed it. It’s a blessing in disguise. Yoshi is now setting up in New York. Yoshi’s missed hug has inspired mass hugging in the room. Yoshi had problems with underage paperwork. It’s our final show. It was inconsistent and Dave’s fan are mad at Dave for chasing Yoshi off the show for awhile.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO. THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE. THERE’S ONLY ONE LEFT AFTER THIS.”

Happy Halloween!

We have a Christian guest and Saelee. Joey is freebasing on Dave’s spirit quest blanket. Dave has finally accepted that Yoshi is not coming back. Yoshi really hates the show. Yoshi visits his friend, Jason, in Norway. Up there, he kills with his stand up. The best response he’s ever had. Yoshi’s brother listened to the show and heard that he had AIDS and called him. Dave believes that Yoshi wants to spread his comedy and that the podcast was a great way to spread it. Dave believes Yoshi on the podcast is funnier than his comedy act. Yoshi does not want to come on one last time. Dave is bringing in Harry’s ex-girlfriend, Jean, as the new Yoshi. Dave is still too hard on Yoshi and drives Yoshi away. Jean de-friended everyone in the room after the break up. Joey washes his dick with soap and water every time he takes a piss. Yoshi doesn’t know of Joey’s dick towel and probably used it on his face. In New York, butts get sweaty so guys walk around with ass napkins. Dave’s ex-girlfriend catches him in the act. Thongs smell like shit because it rides in the butt. Bobby shows up. Bobby sights an ass napkin in Vegas. Bobby carries a shkit with him, a shit kit. It’s a handy kit with few wads of toilet paper and a seat cover. He never washed his ass his whole life. Dave uses a bidet everyday. Dave also has irritable bowel syndrome so it messes him up. One method is to wash inside the asshole one knuckle deep. Jean wipes back and front and never had a urinary tract infection. A big shit is a sense of accomplishment. Gold bond is also good. Yoshi has always hated the podcast but has kept showing up. Over time, we find that he actually hates the show. Some hick yells at us in LA, Yoshi and Jean start going off on him immediately. Jean is glad to have reconnected with Harry. Yoshi retells a story of Jean using racial slurs. Yoshi sometimes doesn’t know when he’s being an asshole. Yoshi and Harry have a small work relationship problem but his real hate for Harry comes from Dave. Vania is the best wing woman and hooks up Harry with a hot date. Jean was giving Harry advice on getting laid now. Jean would complain about how Harry would not fuck her. Jean cheated on Harry. Jean would get drunk and do things. Cheating was her way of breaking up. She had a relationship with the guy who turned out to be an asiaphile. She was more sexually adventurous with him. He looked like a lollipop and ended up getting the break up sex. Some Asiaphiles don’t care if the Asian girls are ugly. Chinese pussy is sideways. Sports With Bobby. Bobby’s hockey team rocks. Bobby sings for Jean. What a great voice. This just in, a report on Saelee’s shit. Harry did not want Jean to gag on his penis. One of the girls dated asked Dave for a laptop before he put it in her ass. It’s not fair to clip our foreskins. Joey fondled Harry’s dick on shrooms. Bobby has quiet sex. Jean wanted to play with Harry’s ass. Near the end, Harry and Jean became like brother and sister and only had enough time to spend a few lunches together. Jean does not want to date right now. Saelee can’t believe that Jean wanted to marry Harry one week before the break up. Jean drank Harry under the table which made him start falling in love. Harry farted in front of Jean on the first date to test her. To love Harry, you have to accept him as Harry. Dave constantly attacks Yoshi’s dignity. When Dave gets depressed, he watches one tv series after another. It’s clear that it’s Dave’s show now but it was Dave’s fantasy to do it with Yoshi for a year and it eventually becomes his show. You can help people like Yoshi when they’re ready to receive. Yoshi almost made it to the show. Dave blames Harry for having a conversation with Yoshi that kept Yoshi from showing up. We are better than Yoshi’s other friends. Why does Dave pick on Yoshi? Dave feels like Yoshi makes mistakes. Yoshi comes over to Harry’s ghetto house on his first meeting with Dave and Harry and Jean. And walks into a room where Dave cut his hair like Hari Kirshna and cut himself deeply and is bleeding everywhere while Yoshi is left with a backpack full of $60000 cash. Russell Peters has a douchebag who was an extra from Clueless in his entourage. This girl Dave was fucking was into this Clueless guy. The Clueless guy is being really nice to Dave. While he was being nice to Dave, he is dirty texting the girl Dave was with at the time. Two weeks later, that guy was there with Dave’s girl. Yoshi calls Dave immediately and lets him know. This story exemplifies Yoshi’s character as a friend. Dave watches Yoshi self-destruct and it’s Dave’s reason for yelling. After Yoshi talks about eating whore’s asses, Dave feels he could talk about anything with Yoshi. Yoshi was offended after Dave was badgering him about his family and even more. A lot of yelling. Saelee tries to make Dave understand what he did to Yoshi. If Dave really loves him, why doesn’t he lay off of him? Dave yells a lot. He yells at people he cares about. In Dave’s mind, this show was the best thing for Yoshi. Is it better to tell people what to do if it’s better for them? You can’t change people. Dave says everyone in the room is delusional. Jean has some skin growth that may be melanoma. Jean would rather die than ask for help from her parents. Joey went to medical school and checks it out. Jean talks about growing up with trauma and doesn’t care about dying. Everybody in Jean’s family hates each other. Jean is also angry about the cost of healthcare in America. We now headed to the USC ER center.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. THERE SHOULD BE 2 OR 3 MORE PRECORDED SHOWS THAT WE WILL PUT UP BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. TUNE IN.”

Joey is inviting Dave to his own white people activities. It’s Bobby’s birthday on Sunday. Everyone believes that Joey fucked his old roommate. Joey says she has too much masculine energy. Bobby and his girlfriend Carol loves the show. The podcast gets a lot of hits. Yoshi bags on Carol on a previous show. It seems like this could cause a problem with Bobby. Bobby does not communicate with Carol about the relationship. Yoshi didn’t think that Bobby was into Carol. Bobby doesn’t believe he was indifferent but it also wasn’t infatuation.

Yoshi’s brother makes a rare call and he’s upset about the way Dave was talking about him on the podcast. Dave talks about people who bother him to everybody. All of our family members listen to the podcast. Carol is misunderstood because she is quiet. Yoshi transitions from the fish industry to the porn industry. Yoshi argues with a co-worker who criticized the way he worked. As soon as Yoshi gets touched he loses his shit and breaks the guy’s arm. Yoshi is slightly repentant. A rude Japanese lady caused Yoshi to quit. Dave only wants what he can’t have. Dave questions why he does art? Dave wants a girl but wonders what happens once he gets her? Dave got the success of his dreams but he still feels depressed the next day. It sucks to find what you’re looking for. It’s boring and stupid after you cum. The album Dave and Harry have been wanting to make for 20 years can never live up to it’s anticipation. The finishing of a painting is never as good as the point before finishing. The nature of desire.

Yoshi knows millionaires who are unhappy. He wonders why Dave is unhappy. For Dave, all the vaginas he fucked all blend into one big vagina but end in the end, Dave feels happy and fortunate. Yoshi knows an agent who has to eat shit from these unhappy people. Harry doesn’t want to go on Thumbs Up. It’s 90% torture and pain. Joey is in a relationship again. Joey has eroticized rage. Yoshi’s brother was concerned Yoshi had AIDS because of his cough.

Dave fucks a girl who says weird things when she’s turned on. Joey might play a dangerous game with casual relationships. Joey is mad at Yoshi #2 for not being a good brother. Joey thinks Yoshi #2 is an idiot. For whatever reason, people have a family member they don’t really communicate with. Yoshi has a hot lady friend. The show is over the moment one of us is in a relationship. Yoshi offends our Christian friend, Vania. Dave crank calls Stephanie Seymore. Joey loves sleeping on the beach. Joey visits the Scientology Church with Saelee and Vania. They use Tone 40 for mind control.

Yoshi met this hot woman after his show which doesn’t usually happen, Yoshi doesn’t go for the women who like him after a show. Joey has been on his smartphone the whole show. Joey shows a girl his boner and it actually worked. Yoshi jumped into a scene where a girl was getting fucked and started eating her pussy. Yoshi was in a porno. Yoshi does the paperwork for gangbangs. Yoshi put on a mask for a gangbang blowjob. Yoshi receives a very disturbing black cock slathering on his ass cheek. Yoshi felt very uncomfortable and left.

Dave Choe is compared to Ted Bundy. Chicks love murderers. Killing in war is just an excuse for murderers. Dave pays no attention to any news and doesn’t pay attention to what’s going on in the world. For example, he didn’t know about 911 until the day after. Dave doesn’t know who Casey Anthony is. The tech corner is over. Sports With Bobby: The ice hockey season division 5, the Coyotes, has started off strong with a 7-0 win. Bobby needs better defense. The Coyotes are in last place. The games are held at the LA Valley Ice Center Sat and Sunday nights.

Pics from the podcast.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. THERE SHOULD BE 3 OR 4 MORE PRECORDED SHOWS THAT WE WILL PUT UP BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. TUNE IN.”

Yoshi’s back! Again!

The room is newly decorated with pictures and custom made wooden masks. Larry David stole Yoshi’s joke and put it in his show. Larry David calls Yoshi with an unpleasant apology. Because of Larry’s fame, now people accuse Yoshi of stealing that joke from Larry. A Kamikaze pilot attacked Oregon. Dave says that Yoshi holds a grudge for a long time. Yoshi calls Dave out on his grudges. Would Yoshi rather have it never had happened to have his joke stolen? No. Larry David was annoying Yoshi on the phone in the way he acts on the show. After the call, Yoshi was yelled at by his boss.
Dave has fought lawsuits and will always spend his money to win. Lawsuits are an unnatural way to resolve conflicts. Dave believes that Yoshi was happy about the whole thing.

Dave gets a call from his older brother Jimmy. Jimmy is a special brother who doesn’t have the same material desires as people in society. He wants to be off the grid and Dave respects that. But in that way, Dave doesn’t respect that Jimmy still asks him for money. Jimmy adopted Dave’s dog Rosie. Rosie has medical problems. Jimmy sells Dave’s sketches on bay to cover the vet bills. Dave works hard to build his career and make his art worth something. Dave is angry that Jimmy undersells Dave’s art for like $300 on bay because he didn’t want to ask Dave for money. It’s not Jimmy’s, it’s Dave’s. To be fair, Jimmy didn’t know what he was doing. Dave is concerned about how Jimmy will make a living. Dave’s parents are scared that Jimmy may move back home.

Having a child is gambling. There is a 50% chance that he could hate your guts. By seeing how Jimmy takes care of the dog, Jimmy has great care taking abilities. In 2007, Dave’s career took off in a show in London with Lazarides. Millions of dollars.

When Dave gets home, he finds that his dad is selling his art in the neighborhood Korean mall for $300. Dave has hatred for the Koreans. Dave’s mom comes to him with business deals. Retirement homes in 29 Palms. Dave says to invest in his art. Dave’s mom then gets a renewed interest in art. While Jimmy is in the print business with Dave, he doesn’t contact Dave in one and a half years. Dave’s mom spends his money to buy his reserve prints back from Jimmy. Dave realizes that he set himself up with these things.

Everybody focuses on romantic love. Romantic love always ends. Friend love doesn’t end and it’s undervalued in society. People tell Dave he has the best friends and he works for that. It’s upsetting to Dave when he is stonewalled by Yoshi, like sometimes a couples won’t talk for months. Yoshi sighs. To protect himself from falling in love and committing, Dave goes out with girls of less quality like strippers and porn stars. Usually a month or two into his relationships, the girls open up to Dave with their personal stories.

Instead of doing crimes, Dave gambles. Dave uses his money to build an awesome studio to distract him from Vegas. Instead, it became a launching pad for Vegas. Dave goes crazy gambling. Dave and Harry do one last Vegas trip and win big. But Dave looks sad towards the end of the trip. Without Vegas, Dave wants to commit crimes again. He talks about killing people. Dave grew up looking up to fictional heroes that killed bad guys. He gets home and hears of women friends of his getting assaulted.

Yoshi’s grandfather was a bitter man. Yoshi’s dad is a sweet guy but divorces his mom. His mom tricks him and takes him away to live with her sister in the US. As a kid, he sees his dad break down in front of him. His aunt’s family tells him that his father does not care about him. Stories this fucked up only comes from Korean families. Yoshi’s stepmother cheated on his dad. Yoshi says horrible things in his comedy to break through naivete to help prevent fucked up things from happening. It’s unclear whether Yoshi’s dad killed himself or was murdered while his stepmother was still cheating on him. As soon as Yoshi flies into Japan, attends his father’s funeral, sees his stepmom, beats the shit out of her and leaves Japan immediately.

Stepmothers are generally evil people. Real evil exists in the world and people do deserve to die. Yoshi’s stepmother has been in other marriages and there have been other mysterious deaths. In Japan, they don’t do autopsies unless the family insists on it. Circumstances seem like Yoshi’s dad got murdered.

Yoshi does his comedy to make people miserable. Joey has a chance to get laid as soon as he gets out of a divorce. Yoshi cockblocks him in the worst way. Dave brings up his issues with Yoshi about some chick named Emily who nobody out there knows. Dave thinks that Yoshi’s mate has to be just as fucked up as he is.

The hot chick tax is expensive. Seeing hookers is convenient. Yoshi is upset that Dave doesn’t follow through on his promise to set up a schedule. Only six people show up for the signing of Dirty Hands at Giant Robot. All six loved the podcast and Yoshi is a favorite. When Dave hears of a friend who is gang raped, he just sees red and he wants to kill. No remorse. Dave was trying to start things again in his life and then he hears of these rapes. His friend tries to kill herself. The person puts herself in a situation that allows her to get raped but it’s preferable to working at Subway. It’s too easy to just shoot someone. You need medical experience to torture someone without killing them. Dave expresses his art to torturing the rapist. A psychic told Dave he is at the master soul level. Dave is here on the planet to teach, to serve, to help. Killing people can also be helping people.

Pics from the podcast.

Yoshi’s back! Dave intros the show. David Choe, Harry Kim, Saelee Oh, and special guest Asa Akira are in the studio. Joey is having diva problems again. This is the last show.

People have a hard time turning off their phones in the studio. Yoshi’s already asleep. The show is not as popular as we thought. Some of our fans really love the show. It makes Joey feel less alone in the world. Dave didn’t like Yoshi’s hat when he saw him in Vegas. Dave equates the kid on youtube who gets beat up to Yoshi’s childhood. Yoshi mistrusts Dave’s message. Dave brings Yoshi a new hat. Yoshi and his friends have money trouble. Dave talks about how his relationship with Sean Parker started. This leads to painting Facebook, the first office. Facebook does not sound like a good idea to Dave. Joey interrupts Dave’s story with his diva needs. Dave takes payment in stocks. Dave paints the new office and finds out a huge story was going to break. The story printed is inaccurate. Dave is richer than rich. biatch. Dave’s on the cover of the New York Times and now everyone wants a piece of Dave. Rich people are boring at spending their money. So Dave will spend his money in comics, cloning and then fucking himself, reenact Brewster’s Millions. In the 80s, that’s one of a few movies of white people messing with black people. Dave is going to buy the cheaper Congo. Dave is going to enact revenge on anyone who has ever been mean to him. Dave has a batcave with everything that batman has. Dave’s going to change the Simpsons and Seinfeld. Margaret Cho, David Chang, and James Iha are his body doubles. Dave is paying for that super rare treatment that takes the gay out of him. Dave was doing well without Facebook anyways. Dave talks about a time before Facebook when it was a joke. What it’s like being rich but being around normal people. Everybody Dave knows has contacted him. Dave gets propositioned to have a sex slave. Some people would rather be slaves than be poor. For Asa, it’s just a communist mentality. Dave offers a slavery option. Rich ugly women still have a hard time getting laid. It only works the other way around. Asa works out a lot and is always hungry. Dave is also a hungry person. He gets so hungry that he overlooks his pet peeves. It’s hard to do pro lapse movies. Asa can gape her asshole. Asa Akira has won every award possible for sex. Asa Akira’s Insatiable 2 is rapey and violent. Dave compares it to the Ryan Gosling movie Blue Valentine. She does double vaginal and double anal. Yoshi can’t watch porn that has someone he knows in it. Asa, like Hall and Oates, has gone as far as she can with her career. What’s next? Dave reached his goals in gambling. Porn is an addiction for Asa. Double anal can only happen organically. There’s an art to anal sex. Anal sex hurts in the beginning.

Yoshi wants to do a show about boxing. He’s traveling to do a comedy show. The whores in Indianapolis are the worst. Yoshi picks bad sports bets for Dave. Yoshi is a sex tourist. Hong Kong Tijuana is a strip club like no other. Dave puts her finger in a stripper’s asshole while she’s sliding on shaving cream on stage. Yoshi prefers Alita club because he likes nasty girls over pretty ones. Pretty girls are overrated. Yoshi prefers authenticity. Porn makes Asa’s life isolated. It’s lonely. The porn convention has shrunk which means that the business is shrinking. While Dave was at the porn awards, girls are getting fingered around him. Unlike any other award show, the girls scream, fight, and finger at the AVN awards. What will Yoshi and Asa do when the industry is disappeared? Porn is like high school. Being a white guy in Japan is like being a celebrity. The Japanese would not appreciate Yoshi’s comedy. Japanese comedy is like David Spade and Chris Farley. Dave is taking requests for money. Dave was just aggravating people when he wasn’t painting. Now he’s painting again. Not painting is like not being laid. All this annoying energy was built up. It was very important for Dave not to wake up before noon. Now he gets to paint anywhere and wake up in the afternoon with his friends. When Dave paints new places, he doesn’t want chicks, he just wants to paint with his friends. It’s the most gratifying feeling. Dave just paints but gets paid to do it. That in itself is gratifying. Joey is happy to see that Dave looks healthier after painting. Painting in public is like a stripper showing her naked body. It’s a vulnerable thing. It’s Dave’s therapy. Dave expresses what can’t be put in words in his painting. If Dave was a girl, he would be a prostitute. As a man, Asa would get fucked in the ass. It would feel better with a prostate. Joey had his prostate tickled in Japan. He has felt plenty of old prostates. Rectal exams are just performed without a need for it. Bidets in Japan has the best pressure. Does Dave’s bidet go as deep as Joey’s? It made Joey cum. Yoshi doesn’t want to pay extra for ass play. Are bottoms jizzing everywhere in gay porn? A customer at Yoshi’s porn shop would tell Yoshi there is a defective spot on his gay porn tape just to make Yoshi watch the whole thing to find it. The customer just wants Yoshi’s company. Dave goes to a porn store to watch porn in San Diego. While Dave is in midstroke, an old man comes into his booth and propositions him. Once again, Dave is very vulnerable. Dave had to squeeze through to get out. Those places are for gay men. We say our sad last goodbyes. Married people should not be on Facebook. Facebook is cited in 90% of divorce cases. Marriage works because the Facebook option was not there. Now the temptation is there when times are hard. Some couples give their Facebook and email passwords to each other. Dave dated some girls who had to play seduction games through text. Dave has done the same thing with his gay clients. If Yoshi found love, he would fall hard and trust his girl. It’s about trust. Prenups are unromantic. Saelee would never marry a guy just for money. Dave is offering money to help people’s romances.

Pics from the podcast.

Joey starts the show by making high maintenance demands. People are starting not to observe the no-phone rule. Yoshi isn’t here for the third time and it seems like the show is falling apart.

Yoshi has made it final that he is not only off the show but is not Dave’s friend. Dave is too hard on Yoshi. Dave claims that he is trying to save Yoshi from himself. Joey learns from not interfering with a friend that she died, so it is better to intrude on your friend. Yoshi is a blunt networker as a way to help others. We all want Yoshi back on the show. Careerwise, this show can help Yoshi. Yoshi suffers in his comedy career. Dave says Yoshi live is better than his act. In three words, we miss Yoshi. Dave is paying the hot chick tax. Chicks who are hot have hot chick problems and when Dave dates one, he has problems too.

Sometimes Dave dates girls who turn out to be hookers. A hooker he dated called him to help her out of a bad situation with a john. Dave weighs his options. Dave sympathizes with the rejection Hitler faced. If not for Dave’s success, he wants to kill people. He doesn’t care and can end up in jail.

Vania is a born again Christian and so won’t have sex until marriage. Harry played guitar in church. Joey doesn’t trust Christians who don’t convert him. In the Jewish religion, Rabbi Akiva says that everyone eventually gets to heaven. Vania believes hell is on earth. Vania doesn’t convert people. Vania can only have sex with a close connection with a man. She had the right man once. Joey does profane sex acts. Why are Koreans so insanely fanatical about Christ? The word Gook actually comes from the Koreans. Dave was a fanatical Christian for three months out of prison. Dave’s mom is a good Christian because she makes herself willfully ignorant. Dave abandons Christianity because it is condemning almost everyone to hell. Also that it forces people to do things and acts in certain ways. He hates the force and the fear.

Religion causes problems. Just be cool to one another. Dave was born into Christianity. Dave’s dad is losing his filter, he announces that his newborn nephew is ugly. There is always a reason to hate your parents. Dave’s aunt can’t see outside of her religious beliefs in her interactions with others.

That is the source of Dave’s brainwashing. Christianity breed fanaticism. The gospel of Thomas, the missing years of Jesus Christ, when he was a teenage asshole. Vania would stop existing if it wasn’t for Jesus. Why couldn’t you still be religious if Jesus didn’t exist? Vania broke up with the love of her life because he was an atheist. Vania has sinful sex. Vania’s first sexual experience involved a Bible study leader and was a bad experience. He wanted blow jobs everywhere. Now she can’t date Korean men.

An older man told Dave that he got married just because he wanted to get laid. Dave and Vania have a wild night in Tijuana. The greatest strip club is Hong Kong in Tijuana. Vania felt a little uncomfortable. It’s all good to joey.

Vania is looking for a mythical dude and is setting herself up for disappointment. Women are looking to be rescued and men are looking for someone to complete them. Both Vania and Dave have been scarred by Koreans and will never date them. But our white friend will only date Korean women. Dave dates mixed women because he capitalizes on their confusion with their racial identity. Dave feels bad for any who ends up marrying anyone in the room. As friends, you can be yourself. In a relationship, you end up doing something wrong. Joey believes attraction is linked to the lemon scented vagina.

Everyone marries their parents. The show will die if anyone gets in a relationship. Dave’s dad speaks Korean to everyone, he doesn’t care if you know or not. Vania will use her vibrator as a born again virgin until marriage. We talk about the longest period going without sex. Vania’s brother is staying a virgin. Dave has to balance anything good he does with something bad. Dave was baptized 6 times.

A lot of Vania’s gay friends are going to Church and choosing Jesus over their gayness. Dave was brainwashed into becoming Christian. Dave’s dad hasn’t been religious until his friends started dying. Vania’s hell is a place without God, with no light. Vania feels dirty about having sex without emotional connection. Yoshi has Korean rules of interacting with those who are younger Koreans. Vania dates douchebags to avoid an emotional connection. Dave dates girls whom he will not have to make an emotional connection with either.

Friends and family are forever. Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends are forever. Dave ran berrands all day to buy 6 big teddy bears. Teddy bears fulfill emotional needs.

Pics from the podcast.

It’s a hot August night. Joey and Harry take of their clothes.

Yoshi Obayashi has officially quit the show. Bobby Namba is filling in as our resident new comedian. He starts with an impression of Yoshi. Joey does an impression of Bobby’s girlfriend Carol. Despite the issues brought forth about Bobby and Carol’s sex life, nothing has changed.

Our friend, who did the intro to the show, and Jason are two beautiful guests on this episode. Dave recaps on this feeling about Jason and a girl he had once been with. Dave notices that most of his close friends’ parents are still together. He muses about couples friends versus singles friends. Dave and Joey love bro love.

Our married friend talks about balancing between hanging out with singles or as a couple. Our married friend demonstrates that whether the person is single or not, their friendship is about their character.

Dave says girls don’t really have girl friends whereas guys can have good guy friends. Saelee shows up to take a shower after Thai boxing. Saelee can see Joey’s balls. Girls think they have friends that are guys but really are just dudes waiting to fuck them. In the end, we’re all alone. Dave says that all women need drama. Our married friend doesn’t want drama and explains why a person must take responsibility for it. Dave says girls are always bored. Dave doesn’t admit that he can be alone. Dave brings up drama in our married friend’s life about our married friend’s mom and her mom’s criminal boyfriend. Our married friend chooses to take up her mom’s drama to connect with her. A guy named Hollywood, connected with Joey. Hollywood collects money and rapes his victims to humiliate them. Married friends versus single friends. Our married friend and her husband have autonomy in their married lives. Marriage is work just like any relationship. For example, don’t nag your mate, appreciate him. Joey breaks dinnerware during his spousal fights. You can’t expect your partner to complete you. What does it really mean to be alone? Self-sacrifice is still a selfish act. Everyone in the room is a chronic masturbator. What do women think of during sex?

Harry is photogenic. Joey feels that dating again is great but kind of sad. Saelee comes out the shower and rubs herself down with lotion. Joey Thinking what being old is like when you were young. Joey and Harry talk about Linux. Is Joey a good secret keeper? Why even share a secret with even your best friend? Dave was once very quiet and secretive. Joey keeps a secret because he’s ashamed. Joey’s secret of kissing an autistic kid’s dick frees him. Joey’s secret is about betrayal. Dave gets caught jacking off repeatedly and it freed him. Joey got caught jacking off old country style. Dave and Joey recount getting arrested for a check cashing scam in south central LA. Dave’s porn stash is found. The women refuse to talk about masturbation. Bobby does Simon impressions. Bobby’s love life has not changed. Joey reveals the secret.

Turi shows up. Turi jerked off his guy cousin. Turi fucks his girl cousin who was married. Jason fucks his second cousin. Dave’s Italian friends has cousin sex. Retard sex.

Pics from the podcast.

the show starts off with bobby doing an impression of biggie smalls. bobby loves Christian rock because he loves the message of blind faith.

We just started airing our podcast, KoreanGoneBad, and while we recognize that there is still no point to the show, we are amazed to have 10,000 listeners. We can’t have a live show and need to edit things out for legal reasons because we don’t know how to act. The podcast creates a hyperreal space for us as friends to talk in.

It seems that Yoshi is angry at Dave and we discuss why he refuses to show up. Issues of age and respect come up between Dave and Yoshi. Dave does not ask Yoshi to some things because of Yoshi’s incorrigible behavior. For example, Yoshi tells nigger jokes and hooker jokes to Jason’s parents. Yoshi shows up to events uninvited anyways while his feelings are still hurt. Dave finds he cock blocks himself on the show when his lady friends call him out.

Dave professes his love to sex workers. Bobby’s shy girlfriend, Carol, answers questions about her sex life uncomfortably with one word answers. She reveals what she wants from Bobby, more noise and to cum on her. In her relationship, Carol wants more fights with Bobby.

Joey looks great and recovered well from his divorce. His ex-wife of 12 years is getting engaged and he attributes his recent anger to that. His sexuality is flourishing after his period of heartbreak. When finding out about his ex-wife’s engagement, Joey weeps profusely but without facial expression. Joey can now fuck without falling in love. Joey reads Huckleberry Finn to dark women, each with one of his balls in his mouth. Joey’s fetish is getting his balls sucked. Joey scares a date away by wanting to stare into her eyes for an hour. Bobby can’t agree to have Joey watch him have sex with Carol, for therapeutic reasons. Harry lives in the land of despair with Joey after his break up after 5 years. Now Harry is fucking again. He loves to fuck now while his ex-girlfriend complained about not having enough sex. Dave’s answer is you always fuck because you’re a man.

Bobby pusses out and leaves to go sleep. Joey and Harry can’t have sex when their relationships go bad. When Joey was 18, he hit a girl over the head with the Bible while fucking her doggy style. Joey takes part in an orgy and doesn’t fuck but stares into a man’s eyes. Joey goes to a second orgy and still doesn’t fuck anybody. Joey and Harry talk about sharing the same girl but it gets complicated trying to work it out.

After going through the steps of bro code, Dave meets a new classy lady friend through James. Joey says, “If you have to ask, don’t do it.” Wasted sex is rotten fruit. Dave’s friend cockblocks himself. Girls who don’t get laid because they have too high standards become rotten fruit. Dave literally gets cockblocked by a giant penis on a trampoline. Is cockblocking really funny? Joey is ok with it because Yoshi cockblocks him in a funny way. Dave is more upset than Joey. Joey now has a manipulative bitch living with him. For Joey, this is crazy bitch training. She walks around the house bottomless to entice Joey. Joey and Dave are callous to a woman’s tears. A powerful woman sees men as children. You could never take what a man says seriously.

It’s hot. People are stripped to their underwear. Saelee is the man when she dates. David Choe is mistaken for the celebrity chef David Chang. Both Davids are going on a worldwide gambling eating tour. As a child, David used to shave his knees and his cheeks. Now he has hairy knees and cheeks.

Jason, David’s friend and Jenny, David’s ex-lover, are now and item and have arrived on the podcast to be interviewed about their relationship by David. Jason also follows bro-code. David gives his blessing because the feeling of infatuated love is precious because it is fleeting and rare. David asks them how they deal with the temporal nature of love’s honeymoon stage. Saelee is sick of their PDA. Saelee and Dave debate on Dave’s real feelings whether he really cares or not. David points out that Saelee is a hater. People cover up their awkwardness with laughter and Joey’s presence. Jenny’s ex-boyfriends are creeps. One wants to have group sex and a sex video. She doesn’t trust him enough. Jenny gets pleasure from a finger in her ass not because of sexual pleasure but because it scratches her hemorrhoid. At age 17, Jason loses his virginity to a 46 year old. At age 23, Jason’s girlfriends are ten years older. Jason spits knowledge that communication and compromise are more important in a relationship than love. We read off the list of traits for Jenny’s dream man and if Jason measures up. Jenny’s desire to have a child along with her biological clock complicates things. Jenny farted on everybody including David’s dick. Saelee has a list also. People fuck like how they eat and eat how they like to fuck. Dave’s video idea about singing dicks and clits. The difference between a three way for a guy and two girls and a girl and two guys. For the guy it’s a dominance thing, for the girl it’s a logistical thing to fill more holes. What would a three way with David, Jason, and Jenny be like? David has seen all modes of Harry’s penis, his boner and balls and everything, so he would be a good threesome partner. Jenny’s fantasy is to have three guys to fill all her holes. She would choose David and Jason, but it’s a toss up between Harry and Joey. Jenny scrubs Joey in a bathtub while he has a boner. We have a 15 year old kid staying over at the warehouse and Jenny shows her tits.

Pics from the podcast.

David returns from a long trip from colombia, where he went deep into the jungles with his shaman denzolo, to ingest the spirit molecule Ayahuasca. the most powerful hallucinogenic on the planet with the Kogi indians. the kogi shamans spend 10 years living in a dark cave from age 5 to 15, eating only one small meal a day and sleeping only 4 to 5 hours a night, and living in complete darkness to develop their psychic powers. don’t cross the streams. DMT the chemical the brain naturally makes when your born, when you die and when you dream is whats found in ayahuasca. what has been seen can’t be unseen.

david literally returns from his adventure and drives straight from LAX to do the podcast. is LAX worse than third world airports? why does david buy black dicks everywhere he goes. David is 34 years old and has never done drugs and decided to start doing the heaviest shit this year. david discovers that asian people are actually aliens and performs totally gay acts on himself and others while he was high, david buttfucks himself.

asians have the tightest pussies, there are no accidents, absolutely no accidents at all ever on this entire planet, everything has a very direct and specific meaning and purpose even if it doesn’t seem like it does, everything happens for a reason . everything , all of it, it’s all a big joke, this whole life is just one big joke, also life is just one huge love story, everything and all of it is just one huge love story, everything is love.

yoshi uses a lot of visine on his dry eyes, which just happened to be LSD hidden in the bottle and finds his ancestors angry at him. harry quotes the mission statement from jerry mcguire. saelee contemplates having children. david goes to africa and draws wesley snipes gets mistaken for an alien and is dubbed the “WHITE WIZARD”.yoshi’s dream girl is handicapped, dumb ,deaf, and mute… and dead.

denzolo calls in and talks about drugs on the phone while waiting in line at customs at JFK. how was keanu reeves so confident that patrick sways wasn’t coming back at the very end of point break? david says Everyone in the world should take a complete vacation from themselves and do themselves and the whole world a favor and do ayahuasca once in their life.

Joey and Yoshi mandate at the Huntington gardens. David goes on better guy dates than with women. do you care if your ex is fucking someone else right now? we are all capable of having contradictory emotions all at the same time. all womens pussies belong to joey. many girls enjoy it when big balls slap against their asses during vigorous lovemaking.

Pics from the podcast.

Yoshi starts the show by eating loud snacks on the air, (this show was recorded right after the tsunami in japan) Yoshi’s comedian friends send all the tsunami jokes to Yoshi to say immediately after the tragedy because they would never dare to say them, and they know Yoshi will say tragedy jokes while the tragedy is still happening.

Even though you guys have heard our intro/outro theme this is the episode that we first created it and introduced it. Yoshi has a horrible aids cough and spreads his disease all over the studio. Joey makes david promise to never let a woman fuck him with a strap on. Stuffing your dick into a pussy soft and just moving it around until it gets hard again, fucking till it hurts.

Joey lets a crazy south african woman live in his home, and she walks around bottomless. and she tries to get out of paying rent for the first month, it’s only a matter of time until things go south.

David’s mom snoops into his life and traps him and tries to have an intervention on him about his gambling problem. David fucks all day and night, he fucks his pain away. Gay white guys start trolling the korean spa that Harry and David frequent. An older korean guy fucks the jet stream in the jacuzzi. Gays love 24 hour fitness.

Joey truly believes that david will one day get married have kids and turn to christianity and turn away from whoremongering. If you have two girlfriends what is the best sleeping arrangement for equal spooning? What is hypomania? Yoshi is thinking about a career change from the porn business to the fish business. Harry says asian girls are the black guys of girls and asian guys are the black girls of guys.

Yoshi will never work for dave, because he believes david will just torture him like a cat who catches a mouse. Yoshi goes to the museum to get some beauty and culture (he especially loves the dutch masters because they represent to him open mindedness, democratic and religious freedom and doing whatever they want) before he starts looking for whores in the park. Yoshi mistakes a deaf girl for a street walker.

Somerset Maugham said hookers make the best wives. Yoshi is not an angry person, only david brings anger out of him. David uses 6 hairs braided together as homemade floss when he was in prison. Drugs is always the answer.

Pics from the podcast.