Podcasts

Episode 19

July 2nd, 2012    14 Comments

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO. THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE. THERE’S ONLY ONE LEFT AFTER THIS.”

Happy Halloween!

We have a Christian guest and Saelee. Joey is freebasing on Dave’s spirit quest blanket. Dave has finally accepted that Yoshi is not coming back. Yoshi really hates the show. Yoshi visits his friend, Jason, in Norway. Up there, he kills with his stand up. The best response he’s ever had. Yoshi’s brother listened to the show and heard that he had AIDS and called him. Dave believes that Yoshi wants to spread his comedy and that the podcast was a great way to spread it. Dave believes Yoshi on the podcast is funnier than his comedy act. Yoshi does not want to come on one last time. Dave is bringing in Harry’s ex-girlfriend, Jean, as the new Yoshi. Dave is still too hard on Yoshi and drives Yoshi away. Jean de-friended everyone in the room after the break up. Joey washes his dick with soap and water every time he takes a piss. Yoshi doesn’t know of Joey’s dick towel and probably used it on his face. In New York, butts get sweaty so guys walk around with ass napkins. Dave’s ex-girlfriend catches him in the act. Thongs smell like shit because it rides in the butt. Bobby shows up. Bobby sights an ass napkin in Vegas. Bobby carries a shkit with him, a shit kit. It’s a handy kit with few wads of toilet paper and a seat cover. He never washed his ass his whole life. Dave uses a bidet everyday. Dave also has irritable bowel syndrome so it messes him up. One method is to wash inside the asshole one knuckle deep. Jean wipes back and front and never had a urinary tract infection. A big shit is a sense of accomplishment. Gold bond is also good. Yoshi has always hated the podcast but has kept showing up. Over time, we find that he actually hates the show. Some hick yells at us in LA, Yoshi and Jean start going off on him immediately. Jean is glad to have reconnected with Harry. Yoshi retells a story of Jean using racial slurs. Yoshi sometimes doesn’t know when he’s being an asshole. Yoshi and Harry have a small work relationship problem but his real hate for Harry comes from Dave. Vania is the best wing woman and hooks up Harry with a hot date. Jean was giving Harry advice on getting laid now. Jean would complain about how Harry would not fuck her. Jean cheated on Harry. Jean would get drunk and do things. Cheating was her way of breaking up. She had a relationship with the guy who turned out to be an asiaphile. She was more sexually adventurous with him. He looked like a lollipop and ended up getting the break up sex. Some Asiaphiles don’t care if the Asian girls are ugly. Chinese pussy is sideways. Sports With Bobby. Bobby’s hockey team rocks. Bobby sings for Jean. What a great voice. This just in, a report on Saelee’s shit. Harry did not want Jean to gag on his penis. One of the girls dated asked Dave for a laptop before he put it in her ass. It’s not fair to clip our foreskins. Joey fondled Harry’s dick on shrooms. Bobby has quiet sex. Jean wanted to play with Harry’s ass. Near the end, Harry and Jean became like brother and sister and only had enough time to spend a few lunches together. Jean does not want to date right now. Saelee can’t believe that Jean wanted to marry Harry one week before the break up. Jean drank Harry under the table which made him start falling in love. Harry farted in front of Jean on the first date to test her. To love Harry, you have to accept him as Harry. Dave constantly attacks Yoshi’s dignity. When Dave gets depressed, he watches one tv series after another. It’s clear that it’s Dave’s show now but it was Dave’s fantasy to do it with Yoshi for a year and it eventually becomes his show. You can help people like Yoshi when they’re ready to receive. Yoshi almost made it to the show. Dave blames Harry for having a conversation with Yoshi that kept Yoshi from showing up. We are better than Yoshi’s other friends. Why does Dave pick on Yoshi? Dave feels like Yoshi makes mistakes. Yoshi comes over to Harry’s ghetto house on his first meeting with Dave and Harry and Jean. And walks into a room where Dave cut his hair like Hari Kirshna and cut himself deeply and is bleeding everywhere while Yoshi is left with a backpack full of $60000 cash. Russell Peters has a douchebag who was an extra from Clueless in his entourage. This girl Dave was fucking was into this Clueless guy. The Clueless guy is being really nice to Dave. While he was being nice to Dave, he is dirty texting the girl Dave was with at the time. Two weeks later, that guy was there with Dave’s girl. Yoshi calls Dave immediately and lets him know. This story exemplifies Yoshi’s character as a friend. Dave watches Yoshi self-destruct and it’s Dave’s reason for yelling. After Yoshi talks about eating whore’s asses, Dave feels he could talk about anything with Yoshi. Yoshi was offended after Dave was badgering him about his family and even more. A lot of yelling. Saelee tries to make Dave understand what he did to Yoshi. If Dave really loves him, why doesn’t he lay off of him? Dave yells a lot. He yells at people he cares about. In Dave’s mind, this show was the best thing for Yoshi. Is it better to tell people what to do if it’s better for them? You can’t change people. Dave says everyone in the room is delusional. Jean has some skin growth that may be melanoma. Jean would rather die than ask for help from her parents. Joey went to medical school and checks it out. Jean talks about growing up with trauma and doesn’t care about dying. Everybody in Jean’s family hates each other. Jean is also angry about the cost of healthcare in America. We now headed to the USC ER center.

14 Responses to Episode 19

  1. carl says:

    wow, way to end the series. Even though it was recorded before your last episode it was still important one. I know way too much about all of you guys and it was pretty interesting to say the least.. Good luck to all of you, and its probably best your no longer doing the show.

  2. bret says:

    fuck yea! another podcast!

  3. KGB Fan says:

    Don’t end the show! One of the realest pod casts in existence!

    You guys make koreans actually look good!

  4. Rad says:

    Really? Splashing public restroom toilet water on your asshole? I’d rather walk around all day with a huge turd in my pants than splash water from a toilet that has a 1000 other people’s poo particles in it haha. Or aids.

  5. oscar says:

    do a show with Die Antwoord.

  6. beetle juice says:

    comeon!!! please dont stop the show, you guys are great. dont leave us!!

  7. Younes malki says:

    I love you motherfuckers and the only person
    This show needs is Dave .Joey was right Americans
    Got dirty asses compared to the rest of the world
    The way I do it since I cant afford a bidet is I sit on the edge of my tub
    Ass chicks spread out and I rub soap on my anus and then I splash water
    On my ass until I feel it’s clean , and I do have a towel also just for my anus
    I don’t know why you have to end the show but if you have to you have to.
    Fuck me ,fuck you and fuck off .

  8. fox says:

    I love Yoshi and miss him on the show, but Jean is just as interesting.

  9. Fkin hell man. I love this show. I was there at the beginning but then strayed and just re-discovered it with this episode. I’m now going backwards and listening to them all. It’s getting me through some shitty weeks at work. My job entails me sitting in front of a computer 10hrs a day cleaning up consumer product packaging artwork files so they are printable. I’m not even the fkin designer, i’m the jerk that cleans up the designers mess so consumers can be tempted to buy more shit they don’t need.
    Anyways you guys are killing me. I had serious LOL moments in my office and at the same time appreciate the sincerity of the show and what you guys share. I hope this really isn’t the 2nd to last episode. Either way keep making a great life, dave i’ve been following your artwork career since bruised fruit and love your stuff and attitude. And Harry is fkin great. So fuck me fuck you and fuck off.

    Oh yeah, your show introduced me to Yoshi, I now send his youtube videos to all my friends. So funny.

    Senor FuckFace

  10. Aaron says:

    I love this show. I feel like I know you guys. And I’m a lot like Dave. I end up raising my voice and being pushy only because I’m trying to understand their point of view. And people see it as yelling at them and being an asshole. I don’t mean to be hard on people at all. I’m just trying to understand their side, but it comes off as an attack. If I’m hard on people at all, I’m ten times harder on myself. I’ll miss Yoshi if he doesn’t come back, but I love this show with or without him. He needs to lighten up and relax, but I do also understand. I just like it that you guys are real. And it’s hard to find good podcasts like this one. I’d love it if you continued, but if you don’t you guys will be missed.

  11. voltron512 says:

    Sucks that this is finally coming to an end. I gotta believe that Dave and the crew will resurface somewhere on satelite radio. I would definitely subscribe, Howard should be passing the baton soon and since he adopted you you should def take that slot. If not for us Dave then do it for your loser friends so they can have a real career….lol.

  12. F Duckleford says:

    Big fan of the show, Dave I didn’t know about you until your IAMA and then I checked out the Stern interview, Harry’s movie and your other stuff. This is my favorite thing you’ve produced so far. You’ve lead an interesting life and I’ve enjoyed hearing more about you, Yoshi, and Joey in the last 19 episodes (which I’ve listened to nonstop, as I spend a lot of time in the fucking subways of Busan).

    There were definitely a few times when you crossed the line when going off on Yoshi, frankly I thought you were treating him like an older Korean guy treats his subordinates (like shit).

    You didn’t realize it of course, Joey didn’t have the balls to stand up for Yoshi and really bring it to your attention. Harry felt it get awkward too, and when he does, he starts giggling to squirm away from confrontation. The few times they did try to confront you you just bulldozed them by cutting them off, yelling incessantly, and interrupting them with “LET ME FINISH” like a child.

    It finally took a woman to come to the show with a pair of balls to try and stand up to you and let you know how obliviously rude, insensitive, and narcissistic you can be at times. Still, you did your best to rationalize and justify your behavior.

    Like she said, it’s the way you say things that is so abrasive and crude, but it really is also some of the things you say. I don’t think you’re bad at picking up on social cues, but you certainly don’t seem to give a shit about them. You just have a question in your mind and you won’t drop it until you get an answer- the same answer as the one you’ve already made up in your mind.

    I think Yoshi’s funny, and obviously he has his own deep problems, but for fuck’s sake let him live and if you can’t stop judging him, why do you have to do so in such a disgusting, relentless way in front of his friends, when you claim he is a close friend of yours? That would destroy anybody’s ego.

    I hope you ‘get it’ eventually, but half your friends are enablers when they bend under your dominating personality, and you don’t have nearly enough empathy or patience to see things outside of your own lens.

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