The era of Koreans Gone Bad is over, it was fun while it lasted, but now begins dvdasa.com

“THIS IS IT, LAST EPISODE. SORRY FOR THE WAIT AND THANKYOU FOR LISTENING”

Dave is not here. Is tranny a derogatory word? Dave (who is fat) has been temporarily banned from the podcast room because of his tendencies to have soliloquies and monologues and screaming over other people with his (fat) deep voice. The folds of Dave’s face fat has a face and looks like a snowman.

Dave wonders why he’s kicked off his show. He calls it ‘my show.’ Sasha Grey would make a great Dave on camera. Only a female can portray Dave. Harry and Dave were alone in Bali for over a month. Dave and Harry fought over a secret.

Vania has just joined the podcast. She says everyone is cool and James is alright. Once again, it’s our last show. Yoshi is not here because he is doing comedy at a Hollywood youth hostel. Yoshi got fired from his job. He’s never been fired. Now he’s moving to New York. Major disasters in Yoshi’s life has prevented him from moving or traveling.

Joey is leaving Los Angeles. Dave’s friend just has a positive outlook in life with a new girlfriend. We have another friend who just got engaged with the biggest rock. Dave thought it was nice there was an engagement in the midst of his bitter single friends. Saelee has no wedding fantasies. James had a high maintenance wedding. He just received a long text from his ex-wife. He’s still in a middle of a divorce.

Yoshi burns DVDs and gives it out to people he likes. Dave reads Yoshi’s resignation letter. Sasha will not continue in porn. His supervisor’s daughter watched him chapter porn. The children have also caught him with a hard on while editing porn. Yoshi enters with his friend Taina. Taina got Yoshi his start in the porn industry. Yoshi got beat up defending his porn shop. Back in the day, porn was a hot street commodity back in the day and people tried to shoplift a lot.

Samoans is very accepting of gay people. Taina is the opposite of a cockblocker, he likes helping his bros get laid. Taina records his sexual experiences and lets his friends borrow his tapes. Taina walks his friends through the porn viewings. Taina was in a circle of other guys who would share their tapes. Women are not interested in seeing their friends’ sex tapes. Vania thinks that Blue Valentine is a Ryan Gosling sex tape.

Joey was very disturbed when Harry was peeking through the window when he was about to jerk off. Saelee thinks Taina wants to show his cock off to his friends. Taina swears that it is only about showing the girls. Joey enters. Joey used to masturbate old country style and started at nine years old. Dave learned the tantric method in prison. Dave talked Harry through it when he was drunk.

Yoshi got into porn to make money to help his family out. Comics are miserable people. Polynesians are funny and goofy with sex. As far as trannies go, Can a man be so beautiful and so much of a woman that you can accept the dick? Some trannies don’t get off with their dicks. A tranny will show you that a woman is hard with an erect penis. Otherwise, you never truly know with a woman. An erect penis on a transexual is a wagging tail on a dog. Some of the appeal of a she-male is that it’s an understanding of a man’s needs. Transexuals take the best traits of the women without the bitchiness.

With the ubiquity of porn, the pussy does not have the power it used to have. It’s time for men to have good fake pussies. Female to male transexuals have gnarly dicks. Dave bought a computerized pussy. If Dave ever used it, he would never leave the house. Men jerk off so much these days that they have become desensitized when they are with women. Men have cycles too. Men are sometimes really horny but also sometimes totally cold.

Taina won’t reveal his porn name. Some porn stars are racist but its porn. Before pills, Taina had to use his mental abilities to get hard. He would think of all the men getting off. The porn industry are pretty clean. Taina fucked a deaf girl. Her sounds were God’s sounds, the purest expression. Is it gay for men to praise other men in porn?

Sasha always felt like a porn outsider and cried when she got her award. Porn is real work. Sasha never had to fuck anyone to move to the top. Taina is drawn to porn because of its rebelliousness and courageousness. Porn affects Taina’s relationships with women. It weeds out the bad ones. Taina was not a pussy when it came to porn. He gets dirty.

Die Antwoord wanted Dave to play drums with them on David Letterman but Dave couldn’t so that he could go on Howard Stern. Dave was sick from anticipation when getting on Letterman, who he’s listened to for countless hours. Dave talked about Yoshi handing out burned porn DVDs which affected Yoshi getting fired. Yoshi was accused of using porn contact lists for dates.

This podcast was training for Dave to be on Howard Stern. Barbara Walters gave Dave an interview where she tried to take full control. Sasha says you have to take control of the press in this situation. They offered Yoshi his job back but he wrote his letter to clear the air, not for his job. He declined. He fights at work for work ethic and honor. Yoshi keeps tabs on who to hate. Yoshi would have gone back to work if they made changes with the children policy. Yoshi tried to hug Harry and Harry missed it. It’s a blessing in disguise. Yoshi is now setting up in New York. Yoshi’s missed hug has inspired mass hugging in the room. Yoshi had problems with underage paperwork. It’s our final show. It was inconsistent and Dave’s fan are mad at Dave for chasing Yoshi off the show for awhile.

Go go Bobby and his team the Coyotes!

From the Archives: Denver 2012

David Choe, DVS-1 and Joseph To, Denver 2012. from doodlebang on Vimeo.

From the archives: David Choe paints poster of Danny Trejo aka Machete

David Choe paints poster of Danny Trejo aka Machete from SA Studios Global on Vimeo.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO. THIS IS THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE. THERE’S ONLY ONE LEFT AFTER THIS.”

Happy Halloween!

We have a Christian guest and Saelee. Joey is freebasing on Dave’s spirit quest blanket. Dave has finally accepted that Yoshi is not coming back. Yoshi really hates the show. Yoshi visits his friend, Jason, in Norway. Up there, he kills with his stand up. The best response he’s ever had. Yoshi’s brother listened to the show and heard that he had AIDS and called him. Dave believes that Yoshi wants to spread his comedy and that the podcast was a great way to spread it. Dave believes Yoshi on the podcast is funnier than his comedy act. Yoshi does not want to come on one last time. Dave is bringing in Harry’s ex-girlfriend, Jean, as the new Yoshi. Dave is still too hard on Yoshi and drives Yoshi away. Jean de-friended everyone in the room after the break up. Joey washes his dick with soap and water every time he takes a piss. Yoshi doesn’t know of Joey’s dick towel and probably used it on his face. In New York, butts get sweaty so guys walk around with ass napkins. Dave’s ex-girlfriend catches him in the act. Thongs smell like shit because it rides in the butt. Bobby shows up. Bobby sights an ass napkin in Vegas. Bobby carries a shkit with him, a shit kit. It’s a handy kit with few wads of toilet paper and a seat cover. He never washed his ass his whole life. Dave uses a bidet everyday. Dave also has irritable bowel syndrome so it messes him up. One method is to wash inside the asshole one knuckle deep. Jean wipes back and front and never had a urinary tract infection. A big shit is a sense of accomplishment. Gold bond is also good. Yoshi has always hated the podcast but has kept showing up. Over time, we find that he actually hates the show. Some hick yells at us in LA, Yoshi and Jean start going off on him immediately. Jean is glad to have reconnected with Harry. Yoshi retells a story of Jean using racial slurs. Yoshi sometimes doesn’t know when he’s being an asshole. Yoshi and Harry have a small work relationship problem but his real hate for Harry comes from Dave. Vania is the best wing woman and hooks up Harry with a hot date. Jean was giving Harry advice on getting laid now. Jean would complain about how Harry would not fuck her. Jean cheated on Harry. Jean would get drunk and do things. Cheating was her way of breaking up. She had a relationship with the guy who turned out to be an asiaphile. She was more sexually adventurous with him. He looked like a lollipop and ended up getting the break up sex. Some Asiaphiles don’t care if the Asian girls are ugly. Chinese pussy is sideways. Sports With Bobby. Bobby’s hockey team rocks. Bobby sings for Jean. What a great voice. This just in, a report on Saelee’s shit. Harry did not want Jean to gag on his penis. One of the girls dated asked Dave for a laptop before he put it in her ass. It’s not fair to clip our foreskins. Joey fondled Harry’s dick on shrooms. Bobby has quiet sex. Jean wanted to play with Harry’s ass. Near the end, Harry and Jean became like brother and sister and only had enough time to spend a few lunches together. Jean does not want to date right now. Saelee can’t believe that Jean wanted to marry Harry one week before the break up. Jean drank Harry under the table which made him start falling in love. Harry farted in front of Jean on the first date to test her. To love Harry, you have to accept him as Harry. Dave constantly attacks Yoshi’s dignity. When Dave gets depressed, he watches one tv series after another. It’s clear that it’s Dave’s show now but it was Dave’s fantasy to do it with Yoshi for a year and it eventually becomes his show. You can help people like Yoshi when they’re ready to receive. Yoshi almost made it to the show. Dave blames Harry for having a conversation with Yoshi that kept Yoshi from showing up. We are better than Yoshi’s other friends. Why does Dave pick on Yoshi? Dave feels like Yoshi makes mistakes. Yoshi comes over to Harry’s ghetto house on his first meeting with Dave and Harry and Jean. And walks into a room where Dave cut his hair like Hari Kirshna and cut himself deeply and is bleeding everywhere while Yoshi is left with a backpack full of $60000 cash. Russell Peters has a douchebag who was an extra from Clueless in his entourage. This girl Dave was fucking was into this Clueless guy. The Clueless guy is being really nice to Dave. While he was being nice to Dave, he is dirty texting the girl Dave was with at the time. Two weeks later, that guy was there with Dave’s girl. Yoshi calls Dave immediately and lets him know. This story exemplifies Yoshi’s character as a friend. Dave watches Yoshi self-destruct and it’s Dave’s reason for yelling. After Yoshi talks about eating whore’s asses, Dave feels he could talk about anything with Yoshi. Yoshi was offended after Dave was badgering him about his family and even more. A lot of yelling. Saelee tries to make Dave understand what he did to Yoshi. If Dave really loves him, why doesn’t he lay off of him? Dave yells a lot. He yells at people he cares about. In Dave’s mind, this show was the best thing for Yoshi. Is it better to tell people what to do if it’s better for them? You can’t change people. Dave says everyone in the room is delusional. Jean has some skin growth that may be melanoma. Jean would rather die than ask for help from her parents. Joey went to medical school and checks it out. Jean talks about growing up with trauma and doesn’t care about dying. Everybody in Jean’s family hates each other. Jean is also angry about the cost of healthcare in America. We now headed to the USC ER center.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. THERE SHOULD BE 2 OR 3 MORE PRECORDED SHOWS THAT WE WILL PUT UP BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. TUNE IN.”

Joey is inviting Dave to his own white people activities. It’s Bobby’s birthday on Sunday. Everyone believes that Joey fucked his old roommate. Joey says she has too much masculine energy. Bobby and his girlfriend Carol loves the show. The podcast gets a lot of hits. Yoshi bags on Carol on a previous show. It seems like this could cause a problem with Bobby. Bobby does not communicate with Carol about the relationship. Yoshi didn’t think that Bobby was into Carol. Bobby doesn’t believe he was indifferent but it also wasn’t infatuation.

Yoshi’s brother makes a rare call and he’s upset about the way Dave was talking about him on the podcast. Dave talks about people who bother him to everybody. All of our family members listen to the podcast. Carol is misunderstood because she is quiet. Yoshi transitions from the fish industry to the porn industry. Yoshi argues with a co-worker who criticized the way he worked. As soon as Yoshi gets touched he loses his shit and breaks the guy’s arm. Yoshi is slightly repentant. A rude Japanese lady caused Yoshi to quit. Dave only wants what he can’t have. Dave questions why he does art? Dave wants a girl but wonders what happens once he gets her? Dave got the success of his dreams but he still feels depressed the next day. It sucks to find what you’re looking for. It’s boring and stupid after you cum. The album Dave and Harry have been wanting to make for 20 years can never live up to it’s anticipation. The finishing of a painting is never as good as the point before finishing. The nature of desire.

Yoshi knows millionaires who are unhappy. He wonders why Dave is unhappy. For Dave, all the vaginas he fucked all blend into one big vagina but end in the end, Dave feels happy and fortunate. Yoshi knows an agent who has to eat shit from these unhappy people. Harry doesn’t want to go on Thumbs Up. It’s 90% torture and pain. Joey is in a relationship again. Joey has eroticized rage. Yoshi’s brother was concerned Yoshi had AIDS because of his cough.

Dave fucks a girl who says weird things when she’s turned on. Joey might play a dangerous game with casual relationships. Joey is mad at Yoshi #2 for not being a good brother. Joey thinks Yoshi #2 is an idiot. For whatever reason, people have a family member they don’t really communicate with. Yoshi has a hot lady friend. The show is over the moment one of us is in a relationship. Yoshi offends our Christian friend, Vania. Dave crank calls Stephanie Seymore. Joey loves sleeping on the beach. Joey visits the Scientology Church with Saelee and Vania. They use Tone 40 for mind control.

Yoshi met this hot woman after his show which doesn’t usually happen, Yoshi doesn’t go for the women who like him after a show. Joey has been on his smartphone the whole show. Joey shows a girl his boner and it actually worked. Yoshi jumped into a scene where a girl was getting fucked and started eating her pussy. Yoshi was in a porno. Yoshi does the paperwork for gangbangs. Yoshi put on a mask for a gangbang blowjob. Yoshi receives a very disturbing black cock slathering on his ass cheek. Yoshi felt very uncomfortable and left.

Dave Choe is compared to Ted Bundy. Chicks love murderers. Killing in war is just an excuse for murderers. Dave pays no attention to any news and doesn’t pay attention to what’s going on in the world. For example, he didn’t know about 911 until the day after. Dave doesn’t know who Casey Anthony is. The tech corner is over. Sports With Bobby: The ice hockey season division 5, the Coyotes, has started off strong with a 7-0 win. Bobby needs better defense. The Coyotes are in last place. The games are held at the LA Valley Ice Center Sat and Sunday nights.

Pics from the podcast.

“NOTE TO LISTENERS: THIS SHOW WAS RECORDED MONTHS AGO BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. THERE SHOULD BE 3 OR 4 MORE PRECORDED SHOWS THAT WE WILL PUT UP BEFORE THE LAST EPISODE. TUNE IN.”

Yoshi’s back! Again!

The room is newly decorated with pictures and custom made wooden masks. Larry David stole Yoshi’s joke and put it in his show. Larry David calls Yoshi with an unpleasant apology. Because of Larry’s fame, now people accuse Yoshi of stealing that joke from Larry. A Kamikaze pilot attacked Oregon. Dave says that Yoshi holds a grudge for a long time. Yoshi calls Dave out on his grudges. Would Yoshi rather have it never had happened to have his joke stolen? No. Larry David was annoying Yoshi on the phone in the way he acts on the show. After the call, Yoshi was yelled at by his boss.
Dave has fought lawsuits and will always spend his money to win. Lawsuits are an unnatural way to resolve conflicts. Dave believes that Yoshi was happy about the whole thing.

Dave gets a call from his older brother Jimmy. Jimmy is a special brother who doesn’t have the same material desires as people in society. He wants to be off the grid and Dave respects that. But in that way, Dave doesn’t respect that Jimmy still asks him for money. Jimmy adopted Dave’s dog Rosie. Rosie has medical problems. Jimmy sells Dave’s sketches on bay to cover the vet bills. Dave works hard to build his career and make his art worth something. Dave is angry that Jimmy undersells Dave’s art for like $300 on bay because he didn’t want to ask Dave for money. It’s not Jimmy’s, it’s Dave’s. To be fair, Jimmy didn’t know what he was doing. Dave is concerned about how Jimmy will make a living. Dave’s parents are scared that Jimmy may move back home.

Having a child is gambling. There is a 50% chance that he could hate your guts. By seeing how Jimmy takes care of the dog, Jimmy has great care taking abilities. In 2007, Dave’s career took off in a show in London with Lazarides. Millions of dollars.

When Dave gets home, he finds that his dad is selling his art in the neighborhood Korean mall for $300. Dave has hatred for the Koreans. Dave’s mom comes to him with business deals. Retirement homes in 29 Palms. Dave says to invest in his art. Dave’s mom then gets a renewed interest in art. While Jimmy is in the print business with Dave, he doesn’t contact Dave in one and a half years. Dave’s mom spends his money to buy his reserve prints back from Jimmy. Dave realizes that he set himself up with these things.

Everybody focuses on romantic love. Romantic love always ends. Friend love doesn’t end and it’s undervalued in society. People tell Dave he has the best friends and he works for that. It’s upsetting to Dave when he is stonewalled by Yoshi, like sometimes a couples won’t talk for months. Yoshi sighs. To protect himself from falling in love and committing, Dave goes out with girls of less quality like strippers and porn stars. Usually a month or two into his relationships, the girls open up to Dave with their personal stories.

Instead of doing crimes, Dave gambles. Dave uses his money to build an awesome studio to distract him from Vegas. Instead, it became a launching pad for Vegas. Dave goes crazy gambling. Dave and Harry do one last Vegas trip and win big. But Dave looks sad towards the end of the trip. Without Vegas, Dave wants to commit crimes again. He talks about killing people. Dave grew up looking up to fictional heroes that killed bad guys. He gets home and hears of women friends of his getting assaulted.

Yoshi’s grandfather was a bitter man. Yoshi’s dad is a sweet guy but divorces his mom. His mom tricks him and takes him away to live with her sister in the US. As a kid, he sees his dad break down in front of him. His aunt’s family tells him that his father does not care about him. Stories this fucked up only comes from Korean families. Yoshi’s stepmother cheated on his dad. Yoshi says horrible things in his comedy to break through naivete to help prevent fucked up things from happening. It’s unclear whether Yoshi’s dad killed himself or was murdered while his stepmother was still cheating on him. As soon as Yoshi flies into Japan, attends his father’s funeral, sees his stepmom, beats the shit out of her and leaves Japan immediately.

Stepmothers are generally evil people. Real evil exists in the world and people do deserve to die. Yoshi’s stepmother has been in other marriages and there have been other mysterious deaths. In Japan, they don’t do autopsies unless the family insists on it. Circumstances seem like Yoshi’s dad got murdered.

Yoshi does his comedy to make people miserable. Joey has a chance to get laid as soon as he gets out of a divorce. Yoshi cockblocks him in the worst way. Dave brings up his issues with Yoshi about some chick named Emily who nobody out there knows. Dave thinks that Yoshi’s mate has to be just as fucked up as he is.

The hot chick tax is expensive. Seeing hookers is convenient. Yoshi is upset that Dave doesn’t follow through on his promise to set up a schedule. Only six people show up for the signing of Dirty Hands at Giant Robot. All six loved the podcast and Yoshi is a favorite. When Dave hears of a friend who is gang raped, he just sees red and he wants to kill. No remorse. Dave was trying to start things again in his life and then he hears of these rapes. His friend tries to kill herself. The person puts herself in a situation that allows her to get raped but it’s preferable to working at Subway. It’s too easy to just shoot someone. You need medical experience to torture someone without killing them. Dave expresses his art to torturing the rapist. A psychic told Dave he is at the master soul level. Dave is here on the planet to teach, to serve, to help. Killing people can also be helping people.

Pics from the podcast.