Episode 15 of the KGB Show is up!
Joey starts the show by making high maintenance demands. People are starting not to observe the no-phone rule. Yoshi isn’t here for the third time and it seems like the show is falling apart.
Yoshi has made it final that he is not only off the show but is not Dave’s friend. Dave is too hard on Yoshi. Dave claims that he is trying to save Yoshi from himself. Joey learns from not interfering with a friend that she died, so it is better to intrude on your friend. Yoshi is a blunt networker as a way to help others. We all want Yoshi back on the show. Careerwise, this show can help Yoshi. Yoshi suffers in his comedy career. Dave says Yoshi live is better than his act. In three words, we miss Yoshi. Dave is paying the hot chick tax. Chicks who are hot have hot chick problems and when Dave dates one, he has problems too.
Sometimes Dave dates girls who turn out to be hookers. A hooker he dated called him to help her out of a bad situation with a john. Dave weighs his options. Dave sympathizes with the rejection Hitler faced. If not for Dave’s success, he wants to kill people. He doesn’t care and can end up in jail.
Vania is a born again Christian and so won’t have sex until marriage. Harry played guitar in church. Joey doesn’t trust Christians who don’t convert him. In the Jewish religion, Rabbi Akiva says that everyone eventually gets to heaven. Vania believes hell is on earth. Vania doesn’t convert people. Vania can only have sex with a close connection with a man. She had the right man once. Joey does profane sex acts. Why are Koreans so insanely fanatical about Christ? The word Gook actually comes from the Koreans. Dave was a fanatical Christian for three months out of prison. Dave’s mom is a good Christian because she makes herself willfully ignorant. Dave abandons Christianity because it is condemning almost everyone to hell. Also that it forces people to do things and acts in certain ways. He hates the force and the fear.
Religion causes problems. Just be cool to one another. Dave was born into Christianity. Dave’s dad is losing his filter, he announces that his newborn nephew is ugly. There is always a reason to hate your parents. Dave’s aunt can’t see outside of her religious beliefs in her interactions with others.
That is the source of Dave’s brainwashing. Christianity breed fanaticism. The gospel of Thomas, the missing years of Jesus Christ, when he was a teenage asshole. Vania would stop existing if it wasn’t for Jesus. Why couldn’t you still be religious if Jesus didn’t exist? Vania broke up with the love of her life because he was an atheist. Vania has sinful sex. Vania’s first sexual experience involved a Bible study leader and was a bad experience. He wanted blow jobs everywhere. Now she can’t date Korean men.
An older man told Dave that he got married just because he wanted to get laid. Dave and Vania have a wild night in Tijuana. The greatest strip club is Hong Kong in Tijuana. Vania felt a little uncomfortable. It’s all good to joey.
Vania is looking for a mythical dude and is setting herself up for disappointment. Women are looking to be rescued and men are looking for someone to complete them. Both Vania and Dave have been scarred by Koreans and will never date them. But our white friend will only date Korean women. Dave dates mixed women because he capitalizes on their confusion with their racial identity. Dave feels bad for any who ends up marrying anyone in the room. As friends, you can be yourself. In a relationship, you end up doing something wrong. Joey believes attraction is linked to the lemon scented vagina.
Everyone marries their parents. The show will die if anyone gets in a relationship. Dave’s dad speaks Korean to everyone, he doesn’t care if you know or not. Vania will use her vibrator as a born again virgin until marriage. We talk about the longest period going without sex. Vania’s brother is staying a virgin. Dave has to balance anything good he does with something bad. Dave was baptized 6 times.
A lot of Vania’s gay friends are going to Church and choosing Jesus over their gayness. Dave was brainwashed into becoming Christian. Dave’s dad hasn’t been religious until his friends started dying. Vania’s hell is a place without God, with no light. Vania feels dirty about having sex without emotional connection. Yoshi has Korean rules of interacting with those who are younger Koreans. Vania dates douchebags to avoid an emotional connection. Dave dates girls whom he will not have to make an emotional connection with either.
Friends and family are forever. Ex-wives and ex-girlfriends are forever. Dave ran berrands all day to buy 6 big teddy bears. Teddy bears fulfill emotional needs.
For the next two weeks or until supplies last i am offering my SUPER SPECIAL HOLIDAY SPECIAL SUPER GRAB BAG SPECIAL. (hi tek blueprint of everything you’ll get below)
which consists of:
1. limited edition TOKYO GIRL bag (was only avaialble in japan, seen in the gallery below modeled by the sexiest man alive, GUAM CRUISE)
2. limited edition keychain (was only avaialble in japan, less than 200 were made, 4 different ones but your not allowed to choose)
3. a munko toy
4. the dirty hands dvd
5. and the rarest hard to find issue of my JUXTAPOZ issue (#4 was the rare one)
6. and just because i’m feeling good, i’m throwing in a mini 5 x 5inch mini print of a watercolor and color pencil of a fucking cat wizard, titled “FUCKING CAT WIZARD”(all signed and numbered)
I have less than 50 of these SUPER SPECIAL HOLIDAY SPECIAL SUPER GRAB BAG SPECIALS so it’s first come first serve. it will set you back $123 for all this awesomeness
if you can’t handle this much awesomeness try a little less awesomeness with just the SUPER GRAB BAG, which is a munko toy, the DVD the FUCKING CAT WIZARD and the limited edition bag (this one is 80$)
because i’m nice AND weird a combination that usually doesnt come in a package, i’m gonna hide sketches and hard to find toys in random bags to keep it fun, so good luck! limit 2 per customer!!
all orders go to harry at email@example.com
Award winning documentary, Dirty Hands: The Art and Crimes of David Choe is out and now it's available on DVD and iTunes!
Order the DVD, with over 3 hours of bonus footage here.