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Episode 16 of the KGB Show is up!

February 7th, 2012    17 Comments

Listen to episode 16 now.

Episode Synopsis:
Yoshi’s back! Dave intros the show. David Choe, Harry Kim, Saelee Oh, and special guest Asa Akira are in the studio. Joey is having diva problems again. This is the last show. People have a hard time turning off their phones in the studio. Yoshi’s already asleep. The show is not as popular as we thought. Some of our fans really love the show. It makes Joey feel less alone in the world. Dave didn’t like Yoshi’s hat when he saw him in Vegas. Dave equates the kid on youtube who gets beat up to Yoshi’s childhood. Yoshi mistrusts Dave’s message. Dave brings Yoshi a new hat. Yoshi and his friends have money trouble. Dave talks about how his relationship with Sean Parker started. This leads to painting Facebook, the first office. Facebook does not sound like a good idea to Dave. Joey interrupts Dave’s story with his diva needs. Dave takes payment in stocks. Dave paints the new office and finds out a huge story was going to break. The story printed is inaccurate. Dave is richer than rich. biatch. Dave’s on the cover of the New York Times and now everyone wants a piece of Dave. Rich people are boring at spending their money. So Dave will spend his money in comics, cloning and then fucking himself, reenact Brewster’s Millions. In the 80s, that’s one of a few movies of white people messing with black people. Dave is going to buy the cheaper Congo. Dave is going to enact revenge on anyone who has ever been mean to him. Dave has a batcave with everything that batman has. Dave’s going to change the Simpsons and Seinfeld. Margaret Cho, David Chang, and James Iha are his body doubles. Dave is paying for that super rare treatment that takes the gay out of him. Dave was doing well without Facebook anyways. Dave talks about a time before Facebook when it was a joke. What it’s like being rich but being around normal people. Everybody Dave knows has contacted him. Dave gets propositioned to have a sex slave. Some people would rather be slaves than be poor. For Asa, it’s just a communist mentality. Dave offers a slavery option. Rich ugly women still have a hard time getting laid. It only works the other way around. Asa works out a lot and is always hungry. Dave is also a hungry person. He gets so hungry that he overlooks his pet peeves. It’s hard to do pro lapse movies. Asa can gape her asshole. Asa Akira has won every award possible for sex. Asa Akira’s Insatiable 2 is rapey and violent. Dave compares it to the Ryan Gosling movie Blue Valentine. She does double vaginal and double anal. Yoshi can’t watch porn that has someone he knows in it. Asa, like Hall and Oates, has gone as far as she can with her career. What’s next? Dave reached his goals in gambling. Porn is an addiction for Asa. Double anal can only happen organically. There’s an art to anal sex. Anal sex hurts in the beginning.

Yoshi wants to do a show about boxing. He’s traveling to do a comedy show. The whores in Indianapolis are the worst. Yoshi picks bad sports bets for Dave. Yoshi is a sex tourist. Hong Kong Tijuana is a strip club like no other. Dave puts her finger in a stripper’s asshole while she’s sliding on shaving cream on stage. Yoshi prefers Alita club because he likes nasty girls over pretty ones. Pretty girls are overrated. Yoshi prefers authenticity. Porn makes Asa’s life isolated. It’s lonely. The porn convention has shrunk which means that the business is shrinking. While Dave was at the porn awards, girls are getting fingered around him. Unlike any other award show, the girls scream, fight, and finger at the AVN awards. What will Yoshi and Asa do when the industry is disappeared? Porn is like high school. Being a white guy in Japan is like being a celebrity. The Japanese would not appreciate Yoshi’s comedy. Japanese comedy is like David Spade and Chris Farley. Dave is taking requests for money. Dave was just aggravating people when he wasn’t painting. Now he’s painting again. Not painting is like not being laid. All this annoying energy was built up. It was very important for Dave not to wake up before noon. Now he gets to paint anywhere and wake up in the afternoon with his friends. When Dave paints new places, he doesn’t want chicks, he just wants to paint with his friends. It’s the most gratifying feeling. Dave just paints but gets paid to do it. That in itself is gratifying. Joey is happy to see that Dave looks healthier after painting. Painting in public is like a stripper showing her naked body. It’s a vulnerable thing. It’s Dave’s therapy. Dave expresses what can’t be put in words in his painting. If Dave was a girl, he would be a prostitute. As a man, Asa would get fucked in the ass. It would feel better with a prostate. Joey had his prostate tickled in Japan. He has felt plenty of old prostates. Rectal exams are just performed without a need for it. Bidets in Japan has the best pressure. Does Dave’s bidet go as deep as Joey’s? It made Joey cum. Yoshi doesn’t want to pay extra for ass play. Are bottoms jizzing everywhere in gay porn? A customer at Yoshi’s porn shop would tell Yoshi there is a defective spot on his gay porn tape just to make Yoshi watch the whole thing to find it. The customer just wants Yoshi’s company. Dave goes to a porn store to watch porn in San Diego. While Dave is in midstroke, an old man comes into his booth and propositions him. Once again, Dave is very vulnerable. Dave had to squeeze through to get out. Those places are for gay men. We say our sad last goodbyes. Married people should not be on Facebook. Facebook is cited in 90% of divorce cases. Marriage works because the Facebook option was not there. Now the temptation is there when times are hard. Some couples give their Facebook and email passwords to each other. Dave dated some girls who had to play seduction games through text. Dave has done the same thing with his gay clients. If Yoshi found love, he would fall hard and trust his girl. It’s about trust. Prenups are unromantic. Saelee would never marry a guy just for money. Dave is offering money to help people’s romances.

Listen to episode 16 now.

17 Responses to Episode 16 of the KGB Show is up!

  1. Mike Kim says:

    If the show’s over can I buy the equipment (for my own show)?

  2. Han says:

    NOOOOOOO I haven’t listened to this podcast episode but please keep making KGB show. T___T This suck balls if this is really the last show.

  3. kieran says:

    Please keep doing the show!

  4. Rob says:

    Would love to meet you one day!

  5. Mariana says:

    You were AMAZING on Stern today. I’m listening to it right now for the second time. Your freedom inspires me.

  6. Mista Hippo says:

    PLEASE, PLEASE KEEP THE SHOW GOING!!! Hearing you on Stern today was amazing! I’ve been a long time fan of you both. PLEASE KEEP THE SHOW GOING AS A LOT OF US CHUBBY ASIAN DUDES WITH FACIAL HAIR LIVE THROUGH YOU. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane & cracks a smile on my face as I scrub toilets.

  7. Rob Why says:

    I haven’t even listened yet (going to listen to Dave on Howard Stern this morning on my iPod)…but I knew Yoshi would be back after Dave announced that he was invited to Muhammed Ali’s birthday party and minutes later Yoshi announced that he TOO was invited (no doubt as Dave’s guest). Unless of course, you taped this long before that happened. As for the podcast ending??? What!!! You sounded like you loved doing it so much. My only guess is that you are taking it to SIRIUS where it is the only worthy successor to Howard’s own show when he retires in three years.

  8. Rob says:

    hey what other cars you got? that riviera’s nice.

  9. voltron says:

    Disapointing that the show is ending. Gonna miss this alot. It’s obvious that you have plenty of options but how bout your loser friends. Will miss Harry’s laugh, Joey’s sensitivity and empathy, Yoshi’s stern asian stance and comedic racist releif, and the soothing female voice of that chick, Saelee. You guys were definitely on to something. Not that you’re a role model for asians in general but we needed somebody like you and your crew representing us in the media. Fans didn’t give a shit about your money, of course it was an interesting story about the FB millions but whatever. Fuck you sellout. You could of downplayed the money. When I win the lottery I’ll look you up and buy a painting and burn it.Ok, the misplaced anger is over. Hope you spin this into something else.

  10. bickdutt says:

    First time listening to your podcast and it’s fucking GREAT! interesting and funny cast. hopefully this isn’t really your last episode -_-

  11. Danny Pearson says:

    DUDES, PLEASE DON’T STOP THIS SHOW!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS AND YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUSLY ALL I HAVE!! Your honesty is what keeps my mind sane. No one I know is ever as honest as you guys. You guys are the real deal and I feel refreshed every time I listen to you guys.

    Please, for my sanity, please don’t stop this show.
    I’ll do anything to help keep the show alive. Please!!!

  12. Danny says:

    I just started listening to the show and now its over?!?!!?! Noooooooo!!!

  13. Jim H says:

    Better than therapy. Cheers.

  14. Adabisi says:

    I heard you on Howard Stern. This is now my favorite podcast. You guys are so interesting and the stories are great.

  15. Mista Hippo says:

    FOR ALL YOU NEWCOMERS TO THE LATE GREAT KGB PODCAST, WELCOME! THE EPISODES WITH YOSHI ARE THE BEST IN MY OPINION.
    FOR ALL YOU WHO HAVE COME HERE FROM THE STERN SHOW APPEARANCE, IVE LONG THOUGHT THAT KGB SHOULD BE ON THE HOWARDS CHANNELS. LETS GET SOMETHING GOING HERE STERN FANS! HIT ME UP ON TWITTER (http://twitter.com/mistahippo) AND LETS GET KGB ON STERN!!!

  16. Jakebox says:

    Came here after the Stern Show appearance. Would love for you to continue this.

  17. Jake says:

    Dave, Harry, let’s do DMT together…c’mon, i have shit load, I extracted it myself, 100% pure. it’s unlike anything else you’ve ever tried. Peace.

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