Episode Synopsis:
Joey is on time, our childhood friend Tahl Raz author of “Never Eat Alone” and founder of jewcy.com sits in.
We discuss what its like to go to the Hoffman Institute. What its like to bow before a complete stranger and beg him for forgiveness. What its like to kill your parents and attend your own funeral.
When was the last time you stared into someones eyes nonstop for long periods of time? Getting an awesome blowjob on your foot instead of your dick. Is it lonely to wake up everyday and to think of no one but yourself? What it’s like to be married. Our first call ever is from….. yoshi? The thought of anyone fucking the person you once loved. Yoshi says “anger is a young mans game” but he is the angriest of all. We talk as much shit about yoshi as possible until he gets into the studio. James Jean comes into the studio and rats out Yoshi, a monster shit was left in the studio (joey involuntarily gags since he’s a kid when he hears gross shit) that flooded the studio and everyone thinks it’s yoshi.
An 89lb anorexic girl that joey met at a depression conference, slashes her belly and stomach and blames Joey. Married people suck on the show, because they can’t tell any stories. Joey and Tahl squash a blood feud thats lasted years. What a curse it is to be born a beautiful woman and never have any real friends. Harry might be the most handsome man in the world aka bad pitt aka guam cruise. Harry gets recognized from being on netflix at fry’s while we are buying video games.
Yoshi shows up an hour late for the show. Why dicks are shaped like mushrooms, and why its so hard to concentrate on anything anymore. There’s 5 people in the podcast and 3 of them are texting throughout the entire show.
Why sci-fi is so important to humanity when things seem bleak and desolate. Joey hangs out with S. P. Somtow a gay scifi writer and his harem of homeless gay boys when he’s 15 but Joey is totally not gay.
David is accused of waking up in the middle of the night and picking up hulk action figures and stroking them and talking to them. Yoshi blows up at David and everyone about being accused for breaking the toilet with the monster shit, because he claims he shits tiny pebble shits. Joey pleads with david to be gentler with Yoshi. The michael jordan of networking is gay. What its like to go through a miscarriage. David feels sorry for any woman who will ever end up with anyone in this room.
Dunno why these radio shows are so ridiculously entertaining? Probably because it’s fun to hang out with this group, even though I constantly wanna interject my own opinions and can’t exactly. The best compliment I can give is that now that fucking Howard Stern only does three shows a week (and takes multiple weeks off at random), KGB has effectively filled the void on my iPod when I’m driving around my city in my shitty Honda minivan with gas light perpetually flashing EMPTY!
Anyway, a few thoughts: Joey is a great raconteur and sidekick who really fills space with his constant banter. Thankfully he’s clever and funny and doesn’t sound remotely depressed.
How do a couple of young artists have 400k to throw around! JESUS! Dave, at least use some of that money to start your own publishing house, or open a small gallery for new artists…or start your own version of the Xeric Grant (which once gave you a start). Or for that matter throw Yoshi a bone. And you can still play baccarat and bet on horses with hookers. And the fact that JJ is getting absolutely robbed by his soon-to-be-ex is tragic. I always love it when no-talent spouses somehow conceive that simply by their presence in a marriage that they are suddenly deserving of all the money their talented spouses have earned either through incredible hard work, luck, or genius.